Do you sometimes feel confused or doubt your feelings and the events you experience? Does the other person often make you unhappy? Do not take these confusions lightly, you may be experiencing psychological pressure. In this article, I will talk about; gaslighting which we can also call forced delusion, which is a kind of manipulation.
Although the term gaslighting seems to have entered our lives in recent years, it first emerged in 1938 from a play by Patrick Hamilton, a British playwright and novelist. This play is about doubting and manipulating one own memories and perceptions. In his marriage, a man tries to psychologically pressure his wife into believing that he is crazy. The experiences may be small or big, but they are often encountered in our real lives. What is this GASLIGHTING?
This term refers to the conscious manipulation and control of a person’s point of view over a prolonged period. It is an attempt to make one or several people at the same time doubt their reality, to make them believe that they cannot trust their perceptions and judgments about reality. Both men and women can be gaslighters. These people who ruthlessly and covertly destroy another person’s perception of reality are usually narcissistic, asocial, borderline personality disorder, or sadistic people. For those who especially exhibit these behaviors, we can also call them toxic people who cause harm and have a great destructive effect.
They usually use the following phrases to carry out their actions;
You have some problems.
You must be crazy.
You know very well how much I love and care for you.
It did not happen.
I disagree, you are making it up, everyone already knows you are lying.
You overdramatize everything.
Just kidding, you always exaggerate.
I would never hurt you, I said those words in anger.
Perhaps some of the phrases may be familiar to you among our readers. Such intimidation behaviors can be experienced for months, maybe years, and you may not realize it. Until your cognitive health and self-confidence are shaken and severely damaged.
Gaslighting relationships have three stages: Idealization, devaluation, and dismissal.
In the idealization phase, the victim is swept off her feet and the manipulator creates the image that their relationship is perfect. The devaluation phase is the most difficult, a long period of covert harassment begins; the victim is transformed from someone admired into someone incapable of doing anything. Feeling transformed from an idealized person to an incompetent one, the victim tries desperately to make things right.
Disengagement, in which the manipulator leaves the victim and moves on to someone new. The victim often finds himself apologizing. But the gaslighter’s new hunt begins, and the idealization and discrediting of his next victim goes through the same processes.
What are the Effects of Psychological Manipulation?
Psychological manipulation is the art of getting the other person to do what you want, unfortunately, the abuser does his job well. Individuals may be exposed to gaslighting behaviors in business life, student life, and similar areas, but it is more common in close relationships. Otherwise, victims may experience serious mental and psychological problems. Anxiety, depression, trauma, post-traumatic stress disorder, self-doubt, low self-esteem, self-confidence, etc. affect mental health. Moreover, the most difficult thing is that it can take months or years to realize the negative effects on oneself. However, if left untreated, victims will be predisposed to other mental health problems such as depression, addictions, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.
FINDING THE WAY OUT
The way to do this is mostly through self-knowledge, increasing your awareness. The most important thing is to intervene early and get help from a specialist. Reading this and similar resources and raising awareness will be very beneficial. What you have experienced may have created a sense of worthlessness in you, but return to your essence; remember that you are very precious and important. Writing, as always, will be healing for you, and you will have valuable evidence to be confident in your situation. Take care of your self-care, this will help you come back to yourself and keep your energy high. Arguing won do you any good and will rather weary your heart, stay away from these attitudes. Take up hobbies and activities that give you pleasure and are good for your mental health and mind. Hold on to the people and jobs you love, read, listen to music, dance, do sports, and meditate. The events may be difficult but they are not impossible to overcome. We human beings have been through so much darkness and finally, we have reached the blues, the greens, the light… First, realize yourself and love yourself… with love, all miracles will embrace you and happiness will be your victory. Stay in love.
OZLEM TUNA
sociologist, teacher, writer, NLP expert, and speaker.
ozlemtunaofficial@gmail.com
