Is there anything left unsaid about love? It has been compared to many things; it became the subject of poems and songs, caused wars, and was described as both hatred and the highest emotion. Moreover, they killed love and divided it into two. They said; love is different, love is different… Love is exhausting. Love is reassuring… Love is excitement. Love is ongoing… Love is not being able to meet; it is pain. Love is trust… Love is at first sight, but love is over time… My pen combines the two in this article… Love is courage and faith. Needs; not to be divided into two. After ‘I’ don’t want it, after you don’t want it, when and which reunion can end this love? Let us examine the positive and negative aspects of love, those who escape from love and those who are unrequited.
The positive power of love is an undeniable healing for both the body and the soul. This huge, shocking force growing within us; Even though it often causes our eyes to wander, it heals us systematically. As scientifically, proven, changing hormones positively affects heart health. It has been determined that these hormones change the reward system in the person’s brain and create a difference in behavior. The hormones mentioned are:
Testosterone
Androgen
Estrogen
Progesterone
Oxytocin
Dopamine
Serotonin
It positively activates touch, smell, hearing capacity, and blood pressure. It causes weight loss, mostly due to loss of appetite due to excitement. It causes the person to pay more attention to his/her self-care, thus increasing his/her self-confidence proportionately. The senses become so strong that; a single sound we hear, a melody, a smell we perceive as we pass by, any object, and sometimes a color or the weather reminds us of love. The LOVE in question may be a current situation or memories from the past. Especially when you wake up in the morning, it is the first thing that comes to your mind, prepares you for the day, and increases your motivation. It is so beautiful that: who wouldn’t want this miracle in their life? Everything is nice, but what if we exaggerate: What if being a slave to his door, not being able to breathe without him, and life becoming impossible to live without him? If day and night, mix, have we become troubled and poor for no reason while trying to be happy? The secret is in BALANCE! ‘Balance’ is the key to our lives. Love is a complex subject; a difficult stage plays with many people. Moreover, yes! Like many subjects, love is an art; Love requires the approval of two people; it is the art of exaggerating love. If there is room for you on the stage, let your art speak, pamper it, love it to the fullest, show it, express it, love it beautifully. Just like a sculptor, shaping it, patiently, to your heart’s content… Do not leave your love to time or chance. This is a unique, priceless feeling. If it is willing and double-sided, it cannot be beaten, appreciate it and take care of it. Well, if it is not mutual; the pain of unrequited love is difficult. In such a situation, let us first see what we can do with patience.
In general, I said that love is a complex and difficult concept, and I can even say that love is similar to vines. It can branch and branch and change shape, almost like a vine. Love also has branches such as platonic love and unrequited love. While we may all have one or more loves in our lives, it is also possible that a person has never experienced love. Platonic love; is a situation where a person has intense love, affection, and admiration for the other person and keeps these feelings inside. It is generally observed more in the early youth years because young individuals who are inexperienced in love find it easier to hide it inside because they do not know what to experience. However, this is a painful situation for the platonic lover who experiences platonic love.
One of the extensions of love is EROTOMANIA. Erotomania is known as unrequited, obsessive, and platonic love, and is a type of psychological disorder detached from reality in which a person believes that someone is in love with them. Even if the opposite is proven and evidence is shown, people with this disorder will never accept the truth. Erotomaniac people make up the myth that the person they are in love with is actually in love with them in the same way, but they have to hide it for some reasons, and they completely convince themselves of this. So much so that when he watches the person he is in love with, he makes him believe that his behavior, words, and actions are giving him some kind of secret love message. Although erotomania is not exactly a psychological disorder, it is often associated with psychoses, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, etc. It is observed as a symptom of another kind of social disease. These people have problems in their self-control mechanisms and there is instability in their thoughts and behaviors.
By talking about the general definition of love and its types, I can say this in conclusion; If LOVE is healthy, balanced, and mutual, the heart; spring, garden… If LOVE has strayed from its line, lost its balance and path, the heart is in torment… In a body where the heart is in torment, it would be inappropriate to talk about the precious hormones and healing provided by love. It can also turn into a swamp that eats away at your soul from within. No one in the world wants to experience this, but we often see love victims around us. This situation is usually seen in people who have experienced childhood trauma within the family. This situation is seen in individuals who are the protagonists of life with insufficient love or memories full of trauma; it happens because of the INVALUANCE that the person attributes to himself. In other words, the reason for uncontrollable unhappiness lies deep within.
Without going into too much detail, I want to go into one more topic. One of the new forms of LOVE of the time is VIRTUAL LOVE (cyber love). This is another topic that is deep enough to write a long article on. It is an increasing situation with the development of technology especially during the Corona period. This is a situation that does not involve complete trust, in which communication is only made via the internet, it usually does not involve just two people, and it can lead to ‘scams’ in today’s society. Although I say that exceptions do not break the rule, it is not a way of communication that I can recommend. A relationship away from touching, smelling, and eye-to-eye contact means missing the most beautiful aspects of LOVE. It is not natural; it is artificial and it is far from trust.
If the relationships you are in make you unhappy or do not bring you happiness, please work on increasing your awareness. Life is too short to experience negativity and you are very valuable. Become aware of your value and what you deserve. Stay away from situations where your feelings are not mutual, and get help from an expert if necessary. Sometimes life leads us to mistakes, the important thing is to realize our mistakes. Sometimes these mistakes create a road map for us to find the right path. We can all experience the miracles of love… It has no time, no place, no age; it has a lot of hope… It does not matter if it is love or affection; the pure, healthy, balanced, mutually nourishing emotions passing through the heart are jewels. If love is real, even missing it is beautiful. Continue your inner journey with courage and balance. May your paths lead to love, stay with love, feel it, make it felt.
OZLEM TUNA
SOCIOLOGIST / NLP EXPERT
For Consultancy and Communication; ozlemtunaofficial@gmail.com
