Saturday, July 13, 2024

The Irresistible Attraction of Being in a Toxic Relationship




This article has been written for people who are in a toxic relationship or for people who do not want to admit that they are

– Some signs that you are in a toxic relationship!

One day we all wake up and realize that we are in a toxic relationship. Wanted to break up with that specific person and was not able to do that, having trouble “fixing” that person. Sometimes we make ourselves a second or even third plan in our lives and in that process, we are disappointed by our relationships. While these happen, we isolate ourselves from others (friends, family, etc.). Yes, I am talking about that phase of our life.

So why do we all fall into the same trap?

Is it the thrill of the unknown that makes these relationships irreplaceable?

Perhaps these toxic relationships are a reflection of the traumas that we had avoided. Is it the desire to fix things, to improve something that got us into this marathon of toxic relationships?

Maybe it’s a product of the environmental pressure we live in. Rather than failing, we prefer to be swept away and lost in the wrong relationships. Psychologically, I can count a lot of reasons for being in a toxic relationship. A neglected childhood, the possibility of being manipulated by our partner, the fear of being alone… We can learn all this from the internet or a psychologist.

At what point do we leave these relationships a chance, which I am curious about and want to learn? Which moment makes us say “I don’t want this”, and we are left to be a prisoner of our fears.

I know, that sometimes relationships can be overwhelming and tiring, but at some point, we have to stop and review our lives and the relationships that we are in. No matter how much we love or care or make plans to spend our lives with that person, your priority has to be “you”. You must love yourself first. One of my friends once shared with me something that affected her deeply. She had problems in her relationship. One day she told her boyfriend, “You don’t love me anymore!”, he got the answer from his lover, “How do you expect me to love you while you do not love yourself first?”

Maybe I can’t explain the shock and disappointment when she went through this, but if you saw her, you would understand. But yes, her boyfriend was proper. My friend had stopped loving herself and making herself happy. She was looking for things that would make them happy. She had abandoned her “self”.

“Ps: Yes, her boyfriend stopped loving her, eventually they broke up.”

The best advice I can give to you is; Never abandon yourself, do not let go of self-love, compensation from you. Because you will be with yourself until the end. You are priceless.

Finally, I read somewhere that the brain doesn’t know the difference between reality and fantasy. In other words, whether our thoughts are positive or negative, those thoughts reflect our behavior and personality. In other way split-second thoughts shape us. I hope, after this knowledge, you say to yourself every day that you are a very special, very beautiful and wonderful human being!

Here are some methods to avoid a toxic relationship:

1- Sometimes, it can increase the awareness of a person by writing down some of his experiences and some of the situations he has been exposed to. Maybe you couldn’t escape, you can try this as a way to get rid of that toxic relationship.

2- You can try the mirroring method in your relationship, so you can show the other party the situation you have been exposed to.

(Mirror method: it is to apply the same behavior to the other side exactly as you are treated.)

3- Close your eyes and try to remember what kind of individual you imagined yourself as a child. Does this dream you give an approving glance to your current self? If you didn’t get confirmation from your childhood, maybe you need to start thinking again.

4-In the relationship, I assume that you often tell yourself that he has no bad intentions, that he does not want to hurt you, that your relationship can be great, you just need some time. Now I want you to think that you have a child. She talks about her relationship with you. Assume that your child is living in the same relationship that you are living in right now. Everything is the same, she repeats to you that her boyfriend is a very good boy, that he did not hurt her on purpose… What would you say to your child? To continue the relationship or to break up as soon as possible?

Now you can apply the advice you give to your child.

Goodbye until my next post! take care of yourself with love…

Modern Witch

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